


Five Times They Didn't Kiss Under the Mistletoe (and one time they did)

by mosylu



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: 12 Days of Killervibe, 5+1 Things, F/M, Futurefic, Missing Moments, Mistletoe, Pre-Series, basically this is a whole bunch of holiday fluff, mentioned Cynco, past Ronnie/Caitlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 11:25:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17099705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mosylu/pseuds/mosylu
Summary: For years, Cisco and Caitlin have ended up under the mistletoe together during the holidays. But they've never kissed. When is the time going to be right?





	1. The Time Ronnie Wanted Them to Do It

**Author's Note:**

> Happy holidays, y'all!

The moon sparkled on the water as the lights of Central City glided by on the shore. It was gorgeous out there. Cisco would have been up on deck except it was also _cold_ out there. He contented himself with staking out the bow one deck down and peering out the window.

"So what do you think of your very first corporate Christmas party?" Caitlin asked.

Cisco looked around to see her plopped on the seat next to him. She had a little plastic bow stuck in her hair and a slightly dopey grin on her face. Clearly she'd been hitting the eggnog.

"Well," Cisco said, "gotta say, the stocking stuffers are choice." He peered into the box on his other side, which held a brand-new, state-of-the-art smartphone, a three-digit gift card to Amazon, silver cufflinks with the Star Labs logo, and designer sunglasses.

He considered regifting the shades to Dante but discarded the thought. Fuck Dante. These were his badass shades.

There was also an envelope with a bonus that had made his eyes bug out, and something called stock options, which he didn't really understand but Caitlin had cooed over, so it must be good.

"But," he continued, "I'm kind of disappointed in the actual party."

"What do you mean? This is very - hic - nice." She waved her hand. "We're on a boat."

"We are on a boat," he agreed. "And that's glam, and there's caviar and champagne and all sorts of goodies. But where's the drunken streakers? The people dancing on tables? The orgy in the copy room?"

She blinked a few times. "There's no copy room here. We're on a boat."

"I always come in at the best times," Ronnie said, pulling up a chair across from them  and holding out a plate. "Your chocolate, babe."

"Ooo." She picked up a chocolate-covered strawberry and ate it in one bite.

"I thought chocolate fountains were unsanitary hotbeds of germs," Cisco said, watching her bite into a piece of chocolate-soaked pound cake with little _mmmm_ sounds. "I thought they were food poisoning waiting to happen."

"Shhhhh," she said, and licked chocolate off her thumb. "I never said that."

"Uh, yeah, you did, literally two hours ago."

Ronnie snickered. "That was Sober Caitlin, man. Drunk Caitlin wants one of everything."

"S'good," she mumbled, picking up a pretzel that dripped chocolate. Some of it smeared on her lips and she licked it off.

Cisco looked away. Apparently he was a little bit drunk, too, because mostly he was pretty good about making himself not notice things like that. Things like her mouth, or her fingers, or her eyes.

He preferred to focus on the way she smiled at his jokes and sometimes made (weird) (nerdy) (adorable) ones of her own, and how Ronnie would talk with him for hours and what it was like to laugh, all three of them together, some late night over greasy Chinese food.

Ronnie held out another plate, which Cisco had assumed was his. "Got you some of those cream puffs you were eying earlier."

He'd been piling a plate high with puffs at the buffet when Hartley had walked by and sneered.

It was hard to say what that sneer had meant - _more sweets, Ramon? Getting tubby, aren't you?_ or maybe _it's not the Golden Corral_ or even _God, Ramon, cream puffs are so bourgeois._ It had worked, though, and Cisco had put the plate down, feeling his stomach curl in on itself.

He hadn't known Ronnie had noticed.

"Erm," Cisco said. "Nah, I'm full."

"Hartley's a dick," Ronnie said. "Go on, take 'em. You don't want to miss these."

He smiled. "Thanks, man." He reached out and took the plate.

"No problem. Why are you hiding up here talking about copy rooms?" he wanted to know.

"He thinks we should be having orgies in there," Caitlin reported, bright-eyed, chocolate-mouthed.

Cisco laughed and shoved a cream puff in his mouth. "I didn't say that. I just meant this is a pretty tame Christmas party compared to the office parties you see on TV."

Although he really, really wouldn't mind getting up to some hanky panky with Caitlin and Ronnie in a copy room.

Okay, yeah, he was more than a little drunk.

He shook his head to shake out that thought. "What I'm saying is, I was promised unbridled debauchery and y'all are failing to deliver."

Ronnie laughed. "Best we can offer is mistletoe." He pointed up. "See? You guys found it without even trying."

Cisco tilted his head back and spotted the patch of greenery hanging from the ceiling. "Wow," he said, a blush crawling hot up his throat. "How about that."

"That means you two get to kiss," his friend said merrily.

Caitlin looked up with an "Mmm?" because her mouth was full again.

"You two," he said, waving at them. "Kiss each other! Go on, do it!"

"No," Cisco said, laughing. "Naw, man. Brenda from HR would have a coronary."

"Brenda from HR isn't here. Come on, you wanted debauchery and you won't even make out under the mistletoe? Now you're failing to deliver."

Caitlin swallowed. "Ronnie, don't be silly, Cisco's not going to kiss me."

"It's bad luck if you don't. You want to risk bad luck? With how close we are to turning that particle accelerator on?" It could be this year, Wells had said at the beginning of the party.

Caitlin said, "That's not about luck, that's about hard work."

"Pfff," Ronnie said. "Go on! Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss." He thumped the arm of his chair like he was at a football game. "Kiss, kiss, kiss."

Cisco had half a cream puff in his mouth and he couldn't swallow it. He couldn't look at Caitlin, either.

"Ronnie," she said. "Stop it. Ronnie. Ronnie." She was kind of laughing and kind of not. "Ronnie. Stop. Ronnie."

"Bad _luck,"_ Ronnie said.

Just a kiss. On the cheek, maybe. Okay. Sure.

A friend should be able to do that.

He could . . . right?

"Ronnie," Caitlin said, not laughing at all. "Stop. _No._ "

"But I'm saying it's okay!"

"And I'm saying it's _not_."

At the tone of her voice - a whiplash Cisco had only heard a few times before - Ronnie froze.

Caitlin said, "Cisco is not going to kiss me. Don't make him."

His eyes went from Caitlin to Cisco, then back, then back again. Understanding dawned in his eyes, and the silly grin on his face dissolved. His hand loosened out of its fist and lowered to his knee.

Cisco felt his heart beating hard in his ears.

He thought he'd kept it from Caitlin. He thought he'd been so good at keeping his feelings under wraps, presenting an amiable mask around both of them. Just good buddy Cisco. But she knew.

And now so did Ronnie.

He looked away from Ronnie but there was nowhere to look except at Caitlin. She still had a little chocolate on her lips. He looked away and lurched to his feet.

"Eclairs," he said, his voice sounding overloud in the small space. "There were eclairs there, right? The little mini ones? I'm. I'll go. Now."

They didn't stop him.

He went and got eclairs, and champagne, and he found some other engineers to hang out with for the rest of the party. He even got to talk for about half an hour with Wells, who asked him what he thought of the stocking stuffers. He said thank you about a million times while remembering that he'd left them on the bench seat in the box next to Caitlin.

As they were disembarking, some people lurching to the rank of waiting taxis, Caitlin came up next to him. She held the box in her arms. "You left this," she said very quietly.

He took it. She'd folded the box flaps shut so nothing would fall out. "Thanks," he said.

She said softly, "I'm sorry. About earlier."

"It's okay," he whispered back, but turned and headed for his car before she could say anything else.

On Monday morning, Cisco got in early and put on his headphones and got to work. He was only three songs into his playlist when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He pulled his headphones off and swiveled around in his chair to look up at Ronnie.

"Hey," Ronnie said.

"Hey," Cisco said back.

"Look, I'm sorry about the other night. With the mistletoe. I was being a doofus."

"What, that?" Cisco shrugged and laughed. "I barely remember. Weren't we all a little drunk?"

"No I mean -" Ronnie looked at him earnestly. "Are you okay? Do you need - space or whatever? Caitlin's worried. Me too. You didn't text all weekend."

Cisco blinked a few times. "I - I wasn't sure you'd want me to."

"You're our friend."

His voice came out small and uncertain. "Does Caitlin want me to back off? Am I being a creep?"

Ronnie's voice came out loud and sure. "No, not at all."

"Do you?"

"Dude. Come on. I had no idea how you felt about her. You've never hit on her or been pervy or creepy or anything. You've been our friend. Our best friend. So stop acting like you did something wrong by catching feelings. I'm trying to make sure you're okay."

He stared up at his friend for a moment, taking it in. Ronnie knew he had feelings for Caitlin. And he wasn't mad, and he wanted to know if _Cisco_ was okay.

"Just," Ronnie said. "If you need _us_ to back off. Or something."

That sealed it. "Hey. No. No. You guys - you're my best friends, okay? I'm a big boy. I can handle my own feelings."

"But the mistletoe," Ronnie said.

"You said it yourself. You were acting like a doofus. Let's just forget this happened and be friends, okay?"

"That's what you want?"

"Yeah. I want us never to talk about this again. Unless you have to sit me down and tell me that I have started creeping her out, because that's the last thing I want."

"All right."

"You promise?"

Ronnie swiped his forefinger over his chest. "Cross my heart and hope to die."


	2. The Time She Took It Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has long been my headcanon that Caitlin is Jewish, so that's where this and the next chapter come from.

Cisco was just about to knock on the front door when he heard the gigantic crash from inside. "Caitlin?" he yelled, twisting the knob. "Caitlin!"

It turned under his hand and he bolted inside to find the living room floor full of pine needles and smashed ornaments, and Caitlin standing in the corner, crying.

"Oh, man," he said. "Oh, wow, the whole thing went down?" He picked his way through the fallen Christmas tree, made sure to unplug the lights from the wall, and reached out to take her hand. "Hey," he said. "Hey, hey, it's okay."

She sobbed harder than ever, burying her face in her hands.

Of course she was. Ronnie loved Christmas -  _ had  _ loved Christmas, Cisco corrected himself with that awful yank in his chest every time he remembered that his best friend was dead.

Caitlin had vacillated between blank-faced lethargy and awful raw sobs for the past few days. Cisco didn't know which was worse, but knocking over the tree that Ronnie had put up, even if it had been an accident, would definitely bring on the latter.

He put his arm around her shoulders. "What were you doing? Trying to adjust the lights or something? It's okay. We'll put it back up, okay? It'll be fine."

They'd have to buy more ornaments, he calculated, looking at the number of glass shards scattered over the floor, but there had to be ornaments still for sale. It was December 20th. Five days until Christmas.

Nine days since the particle accelerator explosion, he added in his head. He didn't know when he was going to stop counting from that day. Maybe never.

"Shhh, it's going to be fine. We'll get it back up, good as new."

She shook her head hard, tears dripping off her chin. "No," she said. "No, I don't want to put it back up."

"What?"

"I pushed it down," she said. "On purpose. I'm taking it all down."

"You can't!"

"Why not?" she shouted back. "Why not? This is my house!"

"But Ronnie loved Christmas! He put up this whole tree, the ornaments, the stockings, the - " He flailed. "Everything!"

"Yes! And he's gone! He's gone." Tears ran down her face, dripping onto her sweatshirt in dark circles. She didn't seem to notice. "He was here for Hanukkah but he's not going to be here for Christmas."

"That's why you have to - "

_ "I can't," _ she cried. "Christmas was Ronnie's thing. It was never mine. I only did it for him. There's no - " She let out a gulping sob. "No reason to do it anymore."

He opened his mouth to say - what? That Ronnie's absence was why she should have Christmas? In his memory?

But she was Jewish, and she was the one who had celebrated Christmas with Ronnie, and she was the one who had lost him.

Cisco's throat closed up.  

She pulled away from him, wiping her face impatiently. "Go home," she said. "I don't need you yelling at me."

"I'm not going to yell at you," he said, subdued. He leaned down to pick up a piece of ornament.

"Don't!" she said. "It's broken, you'll hurt yourself - "

"I'm okay, I've got it." He straightened up. "I'm not going to yell at you. I'm going to help you clean up."

"You don't have to do that," she said, voice cracking.

"I know," he said, backing away out of the corner and holding out his hand so she could steady herself as she picked her way over the downed Christmas tree.

They worked in silence. He pulled the broken ornaments off the tree - she made him wear thick gardening gloves so he wouldn't cut himself - and tossed them right in the trash can. He tugged off the star, a beautiful piece in curlicued silver, and unwound the lights. 

She rescued the star and a few of the more homemade-looking ornaments, setting them aside. "Those were his," she said. "From when he was little. The star was from his grandmother. I should - should send them back to his parents."

"Sounds good," he said. "You have a box? Bubble wrap?"

"Somewhere." She pointed at the lights in a tangle on the couch. "You can have those. If you want."

He thought about saying no, but they were nice lights. The ones he'd bought before getting the job at Star Labs were pretty shitty. He'd been too wrapped up in the run-up to turning on the particle accelerator to get better ones this year.

Anyway, it would be nice to have something of Ronnie's.

He hauled the naked tree out to his car and tied it on the top with some twine from the garage. He'd drop it at the dump later.

When he went back in, she was taking down pine garland and stockings. He found a broom and dustpan and swept up stray pine needles and shards of glass.   


He paused at the electric candles in the windows. "Should I leave these?" he asked.

She looked at them. "Hanukkah's over," she said. "It ended days ago."

She hadn't said no. And the house looked kind of empty and sad now. "Still," he said.

She bit her lip. "Leave them."

There were some things strung up high. He peered up at a spring of green hanging from the light fixture just in front of the door. "Is that mistletoe?"

She nodded. "Ronnie said that he wanted an excuse to kiss me every time we left or came home."

_Damn, Ronnie, you were smooth sometimes,_ Cisco thought, and his eyes burned with tears. 

"You remember last year?" she said.

"You mean the mistletoe at the boat party?"

"Yes."

It felt like a lifetime ago. Once he'd realized that Caitlin knew about his crush, he'd made a concerted effort to date other people so he wouldn't be that guy pining after his best friend. 

He could still feel little feeble tendrils of crush stirring in his heart, but they were buried under everything that had happened since.

"He didn't know," Caitlin said. "He felt awful."

"I know, he apologized."

"He did? I made him promise never to say anything about it to you ever again."

"Well, I made him promise the same thing. So he kept his promise to both of us."

She stared up at the mistletoe. Her chin trembled.

"Hey," he said gently, and she looked back at him. "You got a ladder?" 


	3. The Time She Invited Him Over

When Caitlin had left the night before, the cortex had been its usual glass-and-steel self. But when she came in, the hard edges were softened with tinsel, stars, ornaments, and garlands. 

Looking around, she saw Cisco balanced on a ladder, his arm outstretched. She squinted up at what was in his hand. "Mistletoe?"

"Shit!" He wobbled, and she squeaked, leaping forward to grab the ladder. Clinging to the top, he peered down at her. "Shit," he said again. "I'm sorry. I was trying to get all this down before you came in."

"Why?"

He averted his eyes. "I mean. You know."

She blinked up at him. "Because of last year?"

"Yeah."

"Get down," she said. "Please?"

"But - "

"Please," she said again, and he climbed down with her gripping the ladder for dear life.

When he was safely on the ground again, still holding the mistletoe, she reached out to rest her hand on his shoulder. "You know that wasn't about Christmas, really," she said. "It was about Ronnie."

"Well," he said.

"I'm in a better place now," she said. "That doesn't mean I'm about to put up a tree or start singing Christmas carols, but I'm also not going to freak out if you do."

"It was Barry, actually," he said. "I told you him you were Jewish, but he said you wouldn't mind."

She arched a brow at him. "Did he put a nativity scene in my lab?"

"Nope. He didn't go near it, actually."

"Then we're fine. Don't go being more offended on my behalf than I am."

“I guess,” he said finally.

She smiled at him, dropped her hand, and headed for her lab.

He trailed after her, quiet as she turned on her computer, fiddling with the mistletoe in his hands. “Is it really okay or are you saying it’s okay because Barry put it up and you don’t want to hurt his feelings?”

“It’s really okay,” she said. “Believe me, Cisco, I’ve been Jewish every December of my life. I’m used to this.”

He perched on a stool. “What’s that like?” he asked. “Being surrounded by a holiday you don’t celebrate. Gotta be inescapable.”

"Not everything this time of year is directly related to Christmas,” she said, checking an experiment she’d left running. “Snowmen and candy canes aren’t religious. And to be honest, I’ve been known to wear a Santa hat, even if I don’t believe he’s going to bring me a present.” She gave him a little smile over her shoulder. "Don't tell my bubbe."

“Still, there’s a lot. I’ve been noticing it this year. The minute Halloween is over, practically, it’s like Christmas barfs all over the place. And I don't mind Christmas barf for me, but what about you?”

She sat back in her chair, studying him. “It’s . . . nice," she said. “Fun.”

“Fun?”

“It's fun," she continued thoughtfully, "but it's not mine. I like the cookies, and the eggnog, and the parties. It's all so cheerful and pretty. But it still doesn't belong to me." She spread her hands. "I'm not sure how else to say it."

"No, I get it," he said. "That makes sense. You're kind of like a tourist in Christian-Land."

"Mmmm," she said. "Except I'm always in Christian-Land."

"Right," he said, flushing. "Right, right." He fiddled with the mistletoe some more. It was starting to disintegrate. “Is that why you were okay with celebrating Christmas with Ronnie?”

“Ronnie did have to do some fast talking to get to me to agree to that,” she said. “I felt kind of strange about it. But he loved the whole season so much, and he was right on board with celebrating Hanukkah with me. Interfaith relationships aren't always the easiest, but we decided that it was the way our . . . our family was going to be.” 

She stared at her centrifuge. The familiar weight of grief filled her stomach. It had been her companion this whole terrible year, only starting to dissipate in the past few months as they’d gotten caught up in the Flash.

Cisco said, "Do you think he's back?"

She hesitated. Hope stirred in her chest, but alongside it stirred her natural distrust of anything good. "I don't know," she said softly. "I think that if Ronnie could come back from the dead for anything, it would be for Christmas."

Cisco nodded. “Yeah. Yeah.” He let out his breath. “Okay. I’d better go put some stuff back up."

He turned to go, and she thought of something. “Hey, Cisco?”

“Hmm?”

"Hanukkah starts in a few days. Would you like to come over for the first night?"

"Really? I mean. Sure. Yeah. That'd be - what do you do?"

She smiled. "Light candles. Fry food. Drink. Hang out."

He grinned back at her. "Dude, that's a holiday I can get behind. I'm there. Tell me when. Should I bring a present?"

“If you want. Doesn’t have to be anything big. As holidays go, Hanukkah really isn’t a biggie.”

“Cool, I’ll do that.” He gave her a little salute and headed out again. A moment later, his voice came bellowing from the cortex. "Hey, Caitlin, hey, come look! Quick, quick!"

She rushed into the next room, ready for more Flash-style mayhem. "What? What is it?"

He pointed up at the skylights. "It's snowing." He turned to grin at her. "White Christmas, maybe?"

Christmas wasn't for another two weeks. Odds were it would melt. But she smiled at him. "Looks like."


	4. The Time She Made It Snow

The cold crawled up Caitlin's arm and turned her bones to icicles inside her body, but Cisco's face was alight as he watched the rain turn to snow outside the window. Caitlin held out as long as she could, but when her shoulder started to ache, she dropped her hand and quickly latched the power-dampening cuffs on.

The cold dissolved, and with it went the terrifying sense of something _other_ moving in the back of her mind, of a voice whispering just out of the range of hearing. Killer Frost fell silent once again.  

Still, as Cisco let out a sigh and turned to smile at her, she didn't regret it.

"Thanks for my white Christmas," he said.

She shrugged, fiddling with the cuffs. "Such as it is."

"No, it was good, don't go running yourself down." He looked out the window for another moment, brows drawing together. Just when she was about to ask him what was wrong, he said. "Is that the first time you've used your powers because you wanted to?"

She blinked. "I've used them."

"Because we ask you to," he said. "It's never your idea. Why'd you do that?"

"That was a gift," she said. "Because I like to see you smile."

His smile went sad at the edges. "So - that was about today?"

"It was about this whole season," she said.

He was quiet a moment. "I'm trying to enjoy Christmas this year," he said. "I'm trying to be present, and not just think about how Dante's not here, but it's hard."

She hesitated, but Cisco had already brought it up, and he didn't need glossing-over right now. "I'm sure seeing Dante this afternoon didn't help."

He pressed his lips together, and for a moment, he looked the same as he had when he'd shut the apparition of his brother back into the box. "Nope," he said. "Sure as hell didn't."

She hugged his arm. "It's awful," she said. "I'm sorry."

He tilted his head. "That's it? Nothing about how it'll get better, and to focus on the good memories, and how he wouldn't have wanted my family to grieve our way through the first Christmas without him?"

"No," she said. "It's awful. That's it. That's all. It just sucks. You don't know what he would have wanted, because he's not here."

He put his arm around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Yeah," he said. "I thought the Christmas after Ronnie was bad because it had just happened, but it turns out, no. Dante died months ago and it still just completely sucks."

She sighed. They watched the rain for another moment, quiet together.

H.R. buzzed by behind them. "Are you two smooching under the mistletoe?" he asked merrily.

They both looked up. Indeed, there was a sprig of mistletoe dangling above their heads.

"Just talking," Caitlin said.

H.R. waggled his finger. "Be careful how long you stay here 'just talking,' or you're going to make young Mr. Albert jealous."

"Oh, hey," Cisco said loudly, letting go of Caitlin and straightening up, "I think there's some more cookies still left. You should check on that."

H.R., immediately distracted, went off in search of sugary treats.

"Cisco," Caitlin said, mildly admonishing.

"He was butting in," Cisco said. "And making dumb remarks. What was that about Julian? Just because you invited him to be nice?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "You were just being nice, right?"

"Well," she said. "Mostly. Trying to make up for that whole evil-alter-ego-kidnapping-him, I think."

"You . . . think," he echoed. "Mostly. Caitlin."

She slid her eyes in his direction.

"Are you seriously telling me you might be into Draco Malfoy over there?"

She squirmed. "Well. I - um. He seems interested in me."

"Wow," he said. "That's gonna go down in history with the great declarations of love. _He seems interested in me._ "

"Hold on there, mister," she said. "I never said _love._ I don't even know if I want to date him. I'm just considering it."

"Do you like him?"

She looked away. "I don't know," she said. "My radar is all off, after last year."

"Speak not the name," Cisco said automatically.

"I did not," she said haughtily. "Anyway, maybe I should give Julian a chance. Just to see what happens."

"Get back on the horse?"

"Maybe."

"Well, if that's what you want, I'm behind you."

Even if he had doubts. She smiled at him. "I know. Thanks." She glanced over her shoulder. "Come on, I think we both deserve some really strong eggnog right now."

"Damn straight," he said.

It was as she was taking her first cautious sip of eggnog - that stuff was _strong -_ that he said, "Promise me something, would you?"

"Hmmmmm," she said.

"Don't ever die on me. I couldn't take another Christmas like this one."

She thought, _That's not really up to me._ But he knew that as well as she did, so she smiled at him around her eggnog and said, "I'll do my best."


	5. The Time He Missed Her

Caitlin was picking her way up the front walk to Joe's house when she heard Cisco's voice. "Caitlin! Hey, you're here." He came running up, his boots clearly much more up to the slushy sidewalks than her high heels. "Whew," he panted, his breath streaming out in plumes. "I'm glad you're here."

"Of course I am," she said. "We all agreed to meet here." Although it seemed like they were were first. Joe's car was absent from the driveway and if Barry and Iris had arrived, they would have already thrown open the door, yelling for them to come inside for hot chocolate and eggnog and cookies. "Where else would I be?"   

"I dunno, maybe at home in your jammies after being  _ kidnapped _ ?"

"Oh, that," she said airily, waving a hand. 

"What do you mean, oh that? Come on, Caitlin, don't brush it off."

She avoided his eyes. "What's a holiday season without a kidnapping or two?"

"Normal," he said. "Something we all deserve."

"We haven't been normal in years."

"Caitlin, come on." He reached out and gripped her shoulder. "You really wanted to get all dressed up and come to a party after the night you've had?"

She dropped her laissez-faire face. It wasn't working on him anyway. "I do," she said. "Because if I were home in my jammies, I would be staring at the wall and thinking too much. I want to be here. With all the people I love best."

He studied her face closely, and his shoulders softened. "Okay," he said. "I can get that."

"Anyway," she said, fiddling with her gloves, "I - I might have invited Dominic and it would look so strange if he turned up and I wasn't even here."

"Jesus, Caitlin," he said, holding out his hand to steady her as she went carefully up the steps. Heels and ice really didn't mix. "How are you always inviting the randos every year?"

"Not always," she said, knowing that yes, always. "He had a bad day too! Worse than mine, arguably. I don't know if he'll come."

Cisco brushed snow away from the railing and leaned against it. "Well, he seemed okay. But don't let him monopolize you all night."

"I'll circulate. Spend some time with everyone."

"Screw everyone, I meant me. We haven't hardly hung out at all."

She hugged her elbows and made her voice bright and chipper. "It's been a busy fall, hasn't it? The wedding and DeVoe and everything . . . "

"Yeah, I guess. And I'm taking off to 19 whenever I can."

She'd deliberately avoided that topic. "Well, that just makes sense." She glanced up. "Hey, didn't Joe say he didn't have time to decorate?"

Cisco peered up at the mistletoe overhead. "I thought so. Maybe he'd already hung that up?"

"Maybe Barry came back and did everything." She hugged herself harder against the cold, annoyed that Killer Frost couldn't share some of her temperature resistance. "So, um, is Cynthia going to be joining us tonight?"

"I hope so. I told her everyone was going to be here. She said she’d try.” He looked pensive for a moment.

“I’m sure she’ll make it,” Caitlin said. 

Maybe she would get a chance to talk to Cynthia a little. Get to know her. She only ever saw the other woman in passing, jumping in or out of their dimension. And Cynthia rarely bothered with pleasantries to bystanders, focused entirely on Cisco. 

Which was perfectly reasonable, of course, he was her boyfriend. But still, since Cisco cared about her so much, Caitlin wanted to get to know her.

Yes, she did. She really did. She was his friend, and she wanted to support a relationship that was making him so happy and starry-eyed these days. And the way she missed him - hard, an ache in her stomach and her throat - wasn't any reason not to be supportive. More of one, maybe.  


"Yeah," Cisco said. "She'll be here." He poked her a little. "But don't change the subject. Seriously, we need to do like a movie night or something."

“What’s this sudden obsession with hanging out?”

"What do you mean obsession? You're my best friend, I like spending time with you."

She crossed her arms and leveled a look at him.

His gaze drifted away and his voice dropped low. "And . . . it never would have crossed your mind to be insecure about our friendship if we’d been getting our recommended daily dose of quality time.”

Although Caitlin would certainly never turn down quality time, she was well aware that he was the one who really needed it to feel close to a person. She remained privately surprised that he'd agreed to a long-distance relationship with Cynthia, but that was love for you.

At some point, long distance wasn't going to do it for him anymore on that front. 

She pushed the thought down, as she had so many times before.  


"Cisco," she said. "You know I like hanging out with you, but my insecurities are my problem and I’ll handle them. You don’t need to feel obligated or anything.”

“Great,” he said. “Then I’ll hang out with you because I’ve missed you, how about that? What are you doing tomorrow?”

She had to laugh. “Um, it’s Christmas Day. What do you think I’ll be doing?”

“Oh, right. Yeah. Golden Dragon and the movies?”

“Lotus Garden this year, I think,” she said thoughtfully. “It’s closer to Lily’s house and their potstickers are amazing.”

"How are the Steins doing?"

She sighed. "About like you'd expect. Clarissa's got it harder. She and Martin spent so much time apart the past few years. Lily's so focused on the baby right now, and I think that's helping."

He sighed too. "Shitty fucking thing," he mumbled. "Tell them I say hi and I'm thinking about them and all those things, okay?"

"I will."

“So what are you guys gonna see? I don't wanna repeat movies on you unless you liked it.”

“Not sure yet. What’s out right now?”

“Oooohhh. Hmm.” He pulled out his phone and opened up IMDb. She leaned over to peer at the screen, and he shifted closer to her until he was warm against her side. “Let’s see.”

It was a few minutes later that Barry and Iris whooshed into place on the porch. “Hey, guys,” Iris said. “What’s up? Why didn't you go inside?”

“Your dad’s not here yet,” Cisco said. “Is he?”

Iris looked at the window. “Dad never would have left it all lit up like that.”

“Turn off the lights!” Barry said in a bad imitation of Joe’s deep voice. “You kids think I’m made of money?”

“You two really didn’t notice?” Iris said, brows rising. She looked at Caitlin, who looked away.

Barry laughed. “Just like these two. So busy talking that they don’t pick up on a fully lit house.”

Caitlin felt herself blush. Well, at least it was a little warmth.

“Shut up,” Cisco grumbled. “Like you’re any better. Anyway, his car’s not in the driveway."

“Look,” Caitlin said, pointing down the street. “Here he comes. With Harry, it looks like.”

They all turned to look at the windows. Caitlin looked over at Iris and knew they were thinking the same thing - what if someone was waiting for them inside? Someone unfriendly. It wasn't unprecedented.

Joe and Harry climbed up the porch steps. “Why are we all standing out here freezing our nuggets off?” Harry groused.

“Someone’s inside,” Iris said.

Joe frowned, his hand moving to where his sidearm would be.

“How about I do some recon," Barry said, and whooshed away. Caitlin felt Cisco tense next to her, lifting his hands, squaring his stance.

Barry reappeared. “It’s fine, it's just Ralph,” he said. 

Caitlin felt Cisco relax. Ralph might be annoying, but he wasn’t going to assault them all. And it was Christmas, and he was their friend. Kind of. She could be generous. 

Iris said, “Ralph? How did he get inside?”

"Who cares," Harry said, "open the door before my nuggets fall off entirely."

Cisco turned to him. "Why are we still talking about your nuggets, man, that's nasty."

"You're nasty," Harry growled back.

As they all piled inside, Caitlin let herself get separated from Cisco, ignoring the pang under her heart. She was going to have to get used to it, sooner or later.


	6. The Time They Did

"Good night! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Be safe going home!"

Caitlin waved over her shoulder, smiling at Barry and Iris in the doorway. As the door shut behind them, Cisco held out his hand. She took it, steadying herself as she went down the steps. She might be almost completely integrated with Killer Frost now, but she still couldn't do anything about the slippery effects of stiletto heels on icy concrete. Cisco thought the solution was clear, but she refused to wear flats or wedge heels to the annual Christmas party.

Not that he objected to being her steadying hand sometimes. 

Once on level ground, she dropped his hand, to his regret. Impulsively, he put out his elbow like an old-timey movie guy. She smiled and hooked her hand through it. He grinned at her and matched her stride as they walked down the sidewalk. She was tucked  warm into his side, and although he could have opened a breach and jumped her home at any moment, he liked this.

"That was a good party, wasn't it?" 

"It was," she said. "It's been a good year. I mean. All things considered."

"As good as we get. I mean, nobody's wanted to kill any of us since Cicada last year. That's big."

"Or absorb our powers."

"Or turn humanity into drooling zombies." He reflected on what he'd just said. "Our life is weird."

"I seem to remember you saying a few years ago that we deserved normal."

"Yeah, at this point, I have to admit, we ain't gettin' it," he said. Tilting his head back, he belted out, " _ You can't always get what you want - You can't always get what you want - " _

She picked it up. " _ But if you try sometimes - you just might find - " _

Even though she was severely off key, he smiled as he finished up, " _ You get what you need!" _

They dissolved into laughter. He could smell her perfume, or maybe that was just the warmth of her skin in the chilly air.

He glance over at her. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you - "

"Hmm?"

"What's that necklace you're wearing tonight? I keep thinking I've seen it before."

She fished inside the scarf wrapped around her throat and lifted it so he could see. "Remember these? We got them at the Star Labs party, the last Christmas before the explosion. Well, the men got cufflinks."

"Oh my god, you're right," he said. "Shit. I think I still have those somewhere."

The shades, since they weren't a 7.99 special at Walgreens, had lasted about three weeks before he'd lost them. The gift card got spent by January, mostly on games that Cisco didn't play anymore. The phone had broken in the explosion. The stock options were totally, hilariously worthless. They might actually have a negative value. The car he'd bought with the bonus was still sitting in his parking space, rarely used now that he could breach.

The cufflinks were in a box in his sock drawer, maybe.

"What prompted you to wear that tonight? I mean, bad associations and everything."

"That's true, but it's a nice piece," she said, tucking it back into her scarf. "And we have been using this logo a lot longer than  _ he _ ever did. I thought it was time to reclaim it."

"You might be right about that."

"Excuse you, mister, I know I'm right about that."

He laughed. "That was a good party too. Considering."

"Remember the mistletoe?"

He let out a sigh. "Yeah. Ronnie felt so bad."

"Mmm."

"You think about him much?"

She hesitated, and he glanced over at her again. "Yes," she said slowly. "But not in a mourning-the-love-of-my-life way. More like, remembering another time in my life. One that was very good, and I was very happy."

That sounded good to him. Healthy. "You're happy now, right?"

"Yes," she said. "But I'm a different person now, so I'm happy in a different way." She smiled at him. "It's good, Cisco. It is."

He relaxed. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted - 

Okay, hold your horses there, Ramon. 

He made his voice light and cheerful. "Speaking of the mistletoe incident, you ever notice how many times we've ended up under the mistletoe these past few years?"

"Mmm. And yet we've never kissed."

He shook his head. "Nope."

"You know, it's supposed to be bad luck," she said. "Not to kiss when you're under the mistletoe."

"Hey, are you saying the whole past few years have been because we didn't kiss under the mistletoe at that boat party?"

She laughed. "No, I'm not saying that."

"Good, because it was the right call," he said firmly.

She raised her brows at him. "You think so?"

"Absolutely. I had a crush, and you had a fiance. Besides Ronnie being my best friend, I wanted to respect that relationship. Before that incident, I could pretend my crush didn't matter. But it did, and we both knew that."

"Kissing under that mistletoe wouldn't have been a good idea at all, would it?"

He glanced over to hit the button the for the crosswalk. "Nope. I'm glad you shut Ronnie down."

"What about now?"

He looked over, ready to ask her what she meant. But he laughed instead. "Caitlin Snow, what is on your head?"

It was a sprig of mistletoe bouncing at the end of a stick, anchored to a headband that sat a little crooked on her hair. She must have whipped it out of her coat and put it on when he looked away. 

She laughed, too, ducking her chin and blushing more deeply than the chilly night air could account for. "Iris gave it to me. Said to use it as I saw fit."

He reached out and flicked his fingers over the silly mistletoe. "Well, damn. I was gonna be all smooth and stuff." He pulled a Santa hat with a sprig of mistletoe out of his pocket and plopped it on his head.

Her mouth popped open. "What - where - ?"

"Barry," he said. 

She reached up and straightened it. "Do you think they planned this?"

"I think they were on the same wavelength. Of thinking that we - you know. Should finally see what it was like, to kiss under the mistletoe."

She met his eyes. "I mean," she said softly. "It is supposed to bring good luck."

"We can always use good luck on Team Flash," he agreed, his voice husky.

She reached out and put her hand on his cheek. Her leathery gloves were chilly against his skin, but when her lips touched his, they were hearth-warm. 

He put his arms around her waist pulling her close, deepening the kiss. It was exactly as sweet and intoxicating as he'd thought, in fleeting moments over the past several years, and so much more often lately. It might have been the wrong choice years ago, but it was the right choice for them now - he could feel the rightness of it down in his bones.  


A car honked, and they pulled apart to see the light changing back to red against them. She laughed and reached over to push the button again. 

He brushed a stray lock of hair out of her fair. She was still blushing, her eyes bright, her mouth soft. In spite of the chilly air, he felt warm all over. "What do you think?" he asked. "Feeling lucky?"

She smiled at him. "Hmmm. I'm not sure. I might need to kiss you again."

FINIS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Apologies if I got any details wrong about any of the Christmases they spent on the show. It's been awhile since I saw some of these episodes.


End file.
